I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
are you so shy because you have an std?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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