there was a trapeze. enough said
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
