and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
