Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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