i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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