New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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