he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
