i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize