I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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