its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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