All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
