Girls should come with a carfax report
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to cum in my sink.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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