believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
