wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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