there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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