are you still at the devil's house?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
