Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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