who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
