yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
