And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
