I got chris browned last night
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize