is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
