Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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