alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am available for nakedness
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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