Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
