Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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