Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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