Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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