he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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