Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
