I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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