We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You don't make any sense
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