how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
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Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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