I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
