He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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