Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
