My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
