Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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