How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
