Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
