I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
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She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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