So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
