I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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