i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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