I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
