The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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