It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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