32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
