If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
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The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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