dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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