Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
