Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
