Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
