Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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