Swine flu. Run for my life!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
