You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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