No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
