I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
