so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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