i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
