i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
